Next week is my 29th birthday. Which means that ‘three zero’ is nearby…
I don’t know what it is, but it just feels like getting old and really stepping into the grown up world. I’m even a bit scared of it. But luckily I still have one year in my twenties.
I guess the feeling of being scared of 30 is because I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything yet. In an ideal world (my ideal world) I would be well on my way to a fulfilling career at my dream job, have a stable relationship, and know what I want in life. In reality I am single and I’m doubting my career choice. The problem is that I don’t even know what exactly my dream job is. Something in Cosmetics? Fashion? Food? Entertainment? I’m working in the Food industry right now, so defining my dream job is not only about which industry to work for. I feel like I am missing something in my current job, but I can’t tell what exactly…
Why does my ideal world look like that? Is it the expectation of society that we should be having a nice job and a relationship by our thirties? Or is it the clock that’s ticking (as a woman it is a nice age to start thinking about having babies)? Somehow, I feel an internal pressure to hurry up because 30 is around the corner. It’s hard to explain, but I feel the urge to start working on something meaningful, something big…
It also doesn’t help when one subject always pops up at family gatherings: “Don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”. “You’re a woman, career is not that important, starting a family is the most important thing in life.” I totally disagree with that. I think that we should be able to have both: career and family. I hope that one day I can accomplish that.
I start to wonder, am I in a so-called Quarterlife crisis? “The quarterlife crisis (QLC) is a period of life usually ranging from the late teens to the early thirties, in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult.” Experts describe a QLC as a sense of panic that your life, career, relationships, etc. isn’t where you want it to be. |Source: Wikipedia|
It sounds very familiar to me. Apparently two thirds of young adults experience this. So I’m not the only one. I guess I really should not be complaining. There are so many people in the world that don’t even get to make their own choices in life. And in the end, 30 is just a number. I should be happy that I’m getting older and have a life in front of me to chase my dreams.
2014 Will be a year where I’ll try to let go of my expectations of what (my) adulthood should be like. It doesn’t matter that some of my friends are getting married, having babies or starting their own business. I should not compare myself to others. Life is too short to daydream it away wishing you had someone else’s. Twenty nine, I’m ready!
1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th!